


Reaching for your light

by ythurielle



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shadow World Setting (Shadowhunter Chronicles), Alternate Universe - The Mortal Instruments, Blood, Crack and Angst, Depression, Eventual Smut, Friendship, M/M, Miscommunication, Mythical Beings & Creatures, References to Addiction, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Vampires, cameos of skz and mx, none of these are too serious but i wanted to tag just in case
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ythurielle/pseuds/ythurielle
Summary: Jinyoung was bored of the darkness. He didn’t have many wants left, but he had this: he wanted to see the Sun.He didn’t really believe in anything, not in gods, nor in fate, nor in the law of attraction, yet the opportunity came knocking on his door eventually, in the form of an unfamiliar shadowhunter.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	1. Prologue - Eclipse

**Author's Note:**

> • last year on my 3rd day in the fandom i was confronted by jy's neck kink and i wanted to write a quick pwp -- yeah, it got away from me badly... so this is just me, practicing plot and slow burn :")  
> • extremely self-indulgent as i mainly use this fic as a comfort project for myself. i hope it’ll entertain you nevertheless OuO  
> • i'm mostly just playing around in this borrowed sandbox, bending some of its rules to my will, but there are some minor spoilers for the 6 books of TMI in here  
> • the title is from the english version of Eclipse

i need to escape  
before the darkness swallows me up  
[♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tl-MG38-0E)

**Prologue - Eclipse**

Jinyoung was bored of the darkness. He was bored of hiding, bored of being numb, bored of the decades he spent sleepwalking. 

He was painfully young when his life was ripped from him. He barely remembered how it actually happened, the circumstances of his death and rebirth got lost in the blood red fog of agony and unappeasable appetite that clouded his mind after his turning.

The first few years of his undeath seemed to have run by him while his only goal was to defeat his all-consuming thirst. By the time he was sober enough to think past the constant need to feed, he lost almost everything he cared for. 

With that realization Jinyoung gave up human blood, and most of his passion with it. It was the hardest thing he’s ever done. Surviving on drinking animal blood was hardly satisfying, just enough to keep him alive. It kept him tame, muted. Not an awesome way of living, but it was okay. Apathy was better than the frenzy, better than hurting others. It was his choice.

He moved to another city, started anew. Slowly caught up with the local Downworlder politics. Made some friends. Kept some distance. 

He made it work. He was always good at faking. It was all fine.

Except for the darkness. 

Being trapped in shadows for over fifty years was sometimes an inconvenience, sometimes borderline torture. As a little boy whose natural habitat was the afternoon sunlight on the beach, he used to find darkness scary and alien. He had grown up since then, reluctantly accepting the fact that obscurity became his home, along with its creatures of the night, but sometimes he was incredibly tired of it.

He craved the blinding summer sunshine, the sight of all the bright colors it gives the world, the energizing warmth of the golden rays on his skin. He was tired of having to conjure the sensations up from the remnants of his childhood memories. 

Jinyoung didn’t have many wants left, but he had this: he wanted to see the Sun.


	2. Afterlife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • you can't put Hard Carry!JB in front of me and expect me not to scream "shadowhunter!!"  
> • no beta, and i've read this too many times to be able to notice the mistakes, sorry :")

This peace on earth's not right  
No pain or sign of time  
So out of place, don't wanna stay  
I feel wrong and that's my sign  
[♫](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIRNdveLnJI)

**Afterlife**

  
  


Jinyoung didn’t really believe in anything, never had. Not in gods, nor in fate, nor in the law of attraction. Yet the opportunity came knocking on his door, eventually.

It came in the form of a tough-looking shadowhunter in his early twenties. He was just about an inch taller than Jinyoung, broad shoulders and strong thighs clad in all black clothes, muscled arms runed up, his black hair slicked back over an undercut. His face looked almost aristocratic, left eyelid dotted with twin moles, his ears adorned by numerous piercings - and Jinyoung suddenly realized he was staring.

He straightened his back, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"What do you want?" Maybe Jinyoung was being crude, but in the current climate of cold war between the Downworld and the Seoul Institute there was little space for unearned pleasantries. Being easy on the eyes wasn’t enough to earn it.

The nephilim on his doorstep was visibly taken aback by Jinyoung's rudeness, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. 

“I have a business offer for you. Jackson Wang gave me your address.”

“Of course he did” Jinyoung muttered under his breath, slightly annoyed, but under the surface he actually relaxed a bit at the mention of his best friend. Jackson might have been an oversharer, but he only gave out valuable information to those whom he really trusted. “And you are...?”

“Im Jaebeom, from the Seoul Institute.” The nephilim leaned forward in a proper little bow. Jinyoung observed the gesture with a curious frown. Shadowhunters showing respect towards Downworlders like this was a rare sight these days. Jinyoung decided to return it.

“Park Jinyoung” he offered, though the nephilim probably knew that already, along with a few embarrassing stories about him. “Come in.”

Stepping aside, Jinyoung let the guy into his flat. Jaebeom looked around as he walked in, smiling at the sight of an entire wall covered in stacked bookshelves in the lounge.

“You like reading, huh?” the shadowhunter asked, trying to break the ice. Jinyoung remained cautious, ushering him toward the open kitchen area.

“Yes. Would you like some water?” Jinyoung didn’t really have anything at home now, he hadn't been expecting guests.

“Sure, thanks.”

They settled around the narrow kitchen table, eying each other for a long moment.

“So” Jinyoung started, “where do you know Jackson from?”

He was distrustful when it came to nephilim, not without reason. It never hurt to run a background check. He kept track of their population in Seoul, he even knew a few of them well enough to consider them his friends - even if they tended to annoy him as much as Yugyeom -, but this guy sitting across him seemed to be new in town. 

“I met him and Mark in the Hellevator a few weeks ago,” Jaebeom said, putting Jinyoung more at ease. The staff in the Hellevator was quite particular about who they let into their establishment, their bar was considered one of the safest Downworlder places in the city. “Youngjae and Yugyeom vouched for me. It’s a cool place, lots of interesting people.” 

“Oh, you know Youngjae, too?” Jinyoung smiled, leaning back in his chair, finally allowing himself to relax. If Youngjae trusted this guy, it was worth at least listening to what he wanted. Their mundane friend had remarkable instincts when it came to the Shadow World and its residents.

Jaebeom smiled back, his expression fond.

“Yes, he lived in the room next to mine in the Institute for a few months before moving out. He kept going on and on about his awesome Downworlder friends, so I asked him if I could meet you guys. I already knew Bambam of course, since he marches in and out of the Institute like he owns the place...” he trailed off with a grimace.

Yeah, that sounded exactly like the brat Jinyoung had raised.

“He kind of does, in a sense. He helped redesigning the building and setting up the protection fields when the Clave bought the property in the nineties.”

“What’s their true background story, anyway? How did Youngjae meet Yugyeom and Bambam? They keep referring to it, but every time someone asks they come up with a different version.”

Jinyoung snorted. “It gets progressively more ridiculous, too. I gave up asking when a three-headed purple yeti came into the picture.”

“Oh, they play that with you, too?” 

They shared a chuckle before a somewhat awkward silence settled over them. Jaebeom fidgeted, fingertips dancing around the edges of his glass. Jinyoung decided he heard enough to move on to the point of the shadowhunter's visit. 

“So what is this business offer about?”

“I need information about the new vampire clan forming in Yeouido, and in exchange I’m willing to give you blood and test your theory.”

Some time not long ago, the first daylighter vampire in more than a hundred years emerged in New York after drinking from a nephilim. Jinyoung remembered the excited rush he felt when he heard the news, his ray of hope for a new life. He latched onto the idea, even after it turned out that the Herondale guy was some kind of an anomaly with extra angel blood in his system that made the phenomenon possible. In Jinyoung’s book that only meant that it probably wouldn’t work after a single feeding from an ordinary shadowhunter, but there was a chance that with regular consumption, the same result could be achieved. He speculated about this a lot. 

“Jackson told you about that?” Jinyoung crossed his arms in front of his chest, annoyed. His hypothesis was supposed to remain private. He didn’t need the trouble that could come for him if a word about his schemes got into the wrong ears. “That unfaithful stray dog…”

“Hey, he was just trying to help” Jaebeom defended the werewolf, which actually earned him a good point at Jinyoung. “To be honest, vampires are not eager to work with us these days, especially after the last incident in Sinchon. I needed some leverage. Besides, it’s a sound theory, I’m actually curious if it would work.”

To Jinyoung’s surprise, Jaebeom sounded genuinely interested. Jinyoung tried not to get his hopes up, though. For this good of a praise, there had to be a catch.

“Exactly what kind of information do you need about this clan and what do you plan to do with it?”

“Just names and relations, position in hierarchy and such. Maybe their main motive for creating a family all of the sudden. We just want to know what’s going on.”

Jinyoung hesitated for a while. In general, he wasn’t really invested in the well-being of people outside his friend group, but he didn’t want to damage his reputation either. Something like this could bring great danger to the vampire society in Seoul and he wasn’t willing to betray everyone.

“That’s too much power in the wrong hands” he said quietly. “Who put you up to this?” 

“Son Hyunwoo.”

Oh. Jinyoung expected the answer to be Institute Head Kang, but if it was Hyunwoo... that changed things.

“Alright. You do realize that this will take a few weeks at least, right?”

“Sure, that's not an issue. There is no deadline. Do you want to start now?”

Jinyoung shrugged. “I only have one name for you today.”

“That’s fine, it’s enough for the first step.”

“I have one condition, though, did Jackson tell you about that, too?”

“Yeah, no biting, got it” Jaebeom nodded, pulling a double-bladed dagger from its holster on his belt and laying it on the table. The angelic inscriptions on the silver blades glowed faintly. “Actually, it was Mark who told me. He’s very protective of you, you know. That’s an unusual trait in a fey…”

Mark was only part-fey, but it wasn't Jinyoung’s place to discuss his heritage with someone he barely just met.

“Do you have a big mug or something?” Without waiting for an answer, Jaebeom stood up to rummage through the kitchen cabinet, leaving Jinyoung speechless. The nerve… 

Jaebeom returned to the table holding a ridiculously colorful old mug with a chipped brim. Before Jinyoung could get a word in or prepare himself mentally, the shadowhunter picked up the dagger and cut his forearm in a neat little line a few inches above his wrist. Propping his arm up, he let his blood trickle into the mug.

Jinyoung swallowed sharply. His eyes fixated on the crimson droplets, following their path from the wound as they glided down on the tanned skin, painting over a rune before falling into the mug, bead after bead in a hypnotic pattern. 

Jinyoung had never tasted shadowhunter blood before, but being exposed to it had the same effect on him as human blood used to, calling to him, pulling him in, exciting his senses. His gums throbbed around his fangs, hunger churning his stomach. He could barely suppress a growl, not even realizing how he leaned over the table to get closer. 

The sound of Jaebeom clearing his throat roused Jinyoung from his trance. The shadowhunter was watching him intently when he glanced up at him.

“Are you okay?”

Regaining his composure, Jinyoung forced himself to sit up straight against the back of his chair. He raised his hand in front of his face, not actively covering his nose, just putting a barrier between himself and the slowly pooling blood. 

_Patience_.

“Yes, I just wasn't expecting you to act in such a rush. A warning would have been nice.” 

“Sorry about that.”

“You know, there are far less messy methods to do this” Jinyoung said, trying his best to keep his eyes on the nephilim's face.

“I prefer cuts to needles, actually,” Jaebeom admitted with a shrug.

“Big scary shadowhunter afraid of needles?” Jinyoung provoked him, mainly to distract himself from the constant _drip, drip, drip_.

“Oh no. You figured out my only weakness. What do I do now” Jaebeom deadpanned, making Jinyoung laugh behind his hand. 

“Have it your way, then.”

There was a pause then, lacking the previous awkwardness. It was Jaebeom who broke the silence this time.

“I know you have no reason to trust me yet, but I don’t have any ill intentions, Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung hummed, not knowing what to say. Jaebeom seemed like a decent guy, but it was way too early to judge his character.

“If we want this to work out well,” Jaebeom continued, “we should get to know each other better.”

“You already know more about me than you should...”

“Alright, let's get even then” the shadowhunter shrugged. “Ask anything.”

▽▽

After Jaebeom left, Jinyoung was staring at the mug for a few minutes. 

It looked truly hideous, decorated with a mess of clashing colors - a handmade birthday gift from Bambam when the warlock was still a child. Naturally it was Jinyoung's most cherished item in his mostly unused kitchen. Smiling fondly, he recalled Bambam's excited little face as he waited for his reaction, his happy squeals when Jinyoung assured him that it was a true masterpiece.

Watching the dark red liquid filling up the mug almost to the brim, Jinyoung knew he didn't have much time before it would start coagulating and turn disgusting. Excitement and fear swirled in his stomach. He wanted this for so long… 

What if it wouldn't work? 

And what if it would?

Before he could overthink it and totally freak himself out, Jinyoung lifted the mug to his lips and drank its contents in slow, steady gulps.

It was the best freaking thing he ever tasted. 

The flavor reminded Jinyoung of spicy food and liquid sunshine. Each mouthful of the thick liquid excited his senses, dissolving some of the old, old numbness. His fangs ached, his throat felt warm, even his skin was lightly buzzing.

By the time the mug was empty, he felt more alive than in decades.

▽▽

Jinyoung was unable to calm down. He paced around his apartment, practically bouncing off the walls with excess energy. It was a strange feeling, one that he hasn't felt this intensely in a long long time. He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up as these symptoms most likely wouldn’t last, but he couldn’t help it. He wasn't even sure if it wasn’t all just placebo effect. He wouldn’t be able to test it until the morning, and that was _hours_ away.

He might even explode until then. Needing to talk to someone, he reached for his phone.

“Jackson Wang, what the hell!” he shouted instead of a greeting, because really, sending a shadowhunter directly to his door? Rude.

“You drank him, didn't you!” Jackson shouted back immediately. “Tell me everything!”

So Jinyoung did. Walking in aimless patterns in his living room, he shared the evening’s events and the basic facts he learned about Jaebeom with Jackson: his family, how he realized he was more than a mere mundane, his life in the Institute. He suspected Jackson already knew all this, but it felt good to just talk. He didn’t even remember when was the last time he spoke this much in one evening.

“...then they sent him to Alicante for the usual cultural exchange.”

“For four years?” Jackson scoffed on the other end of the line. “Yeah, I'm sure having been caught balls deep in the daughter of the Institute Head had nothing to do with his exilement.”

“Jackson!” Jinyoung couldn't help but laugh.

“What, you didn't really expect me to let him into my pack without some research, did you? Jooheon says he's a good guy, just a bit stuck-up and hot headed. Not sure how those traits even go together though... Anyway, what's more important: did you bite him?”

“That's none of your business, Wang, especially after letting me ramble uselessly for half an hour about stuff you already knew.”

“But you were so excited, so cute!” Jackson cooed ridiculously. “How could I interrupt you when you’re like that? C'mon, Jinyoungie~ Tell me!”

Jinyoung knew his friend wouldn’t stop pestering him until he got what he wanted, so he gave in. “No, I didn't.”

“But did you want to? You have to admit he's pretty hot.”

Hotness had nothing to do with his aversion to biting people, but Jinyoung’s mood was way too good now to start arguments. He wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. Apart from the opportunity to test his theory and possibly change his afterlife for the better, he had to admit to himself Jaebeom sparked an interest in him he gave up on long ago. He tried to keep his tone neutral, but a smirk found its way into his voice.

“Maybe.”

Jackson actually squealed. “I can't wait to see how this turns out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • alright, this is still just the beginning, kind of a teaser, but in the next chapter we'll start to Discover Things~~  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> • tbh i have no idea how often can i update... this is the fic that got me back into writing after 5 years of hiatus, but it's very far from my usual thing, so i feel kind of insecure about it. i have it all planned out, but as i can't write linearly and the writing process is very dependent on my mood, it might be a long while before i manage to finish it...  
> • you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ythurielle) OuO


End file.
